I told myself that this is it. This is my chance to redeem myself. My chance to stand up and collect myself. This is my chance to prove to people that nothing is wrong with me. And yet, all that’s happening is proving to myself that there is really something wrong with me. I cant really work. It will never work for me. I can never really work.
I don’t really see me staying in a company long yet I don’t know what else to do so that I can earn a living. i cant really do things that I wanted to do… like writing or sketching or fashion. It’s a mistake that I took the wrong course in college. It is a mistake to just line up to a certain course because the line is the shortest.
I should have thought of things over before I went to the university 10 years ago to enroll. I should have realized that architecture though instresting is not really for a procatinator like me. I should have realized that my IQ is not for that course that I am too tamad to be in that college.
I guess my professor is right when she treat me badly at school. I think that she never really see architecture in me.
I guess… I am born to be a looser.
I guess that I can never really accomplished anything that I wanted.
I want simple things, like a salary. Sure salary. But even that oine simple thing is unattainable to a degree looser like me.
If I can go back time, I will go back in high school where I am enrolled in this posh catholic school. I left that school because I know that I will never be accepted in there… so I transferred. But I was never accepted in that new school too.
They are so close that they don’t have any space for a newbie like me. Or they’ve accepted me but they can never rewally consider that I am family. School can be cruel. Look what its done to me. It made me a looser. Or can I really blame school. maybe its me.
I am born to be a looser.