Monthly Archives: February 2006

163

my inanak (godchild) was beaten up by his father. he punched his child in the head many times… so many. he lashed her out with the buckle of his belt many times that my inaanak can no longer stand. it happened this morning. she didn’t attend school.

the father is a tall guy and the child is a waifish grade six girl.

according to my cousin she is black and blue all over.

the father also said that when after work he’ll again beat the child up.

cuz the girl stole some money from a neighbor.

we didn’t know if the stealing is true. they’ve never asked the child before they beat her up. even if she did it, theres a reason and beating her up is not the answer. no matter whar she did… nobody have this right to beat anyone up… especially a girl… a child…

I want to see her but I cant. I cant cuz ill cry.

I have a responsibility to help that child. I am her godmother. I promise god that right?

but im scared.

I don’t know what to do.

I want to call bantay bata right about now… but but…

I am scared.

I remember about a week ago that same girl is asking me to help her w/ her assignment … I did not help her cuz im super busy w/ meself… self pitying and looking at myself in the mirror and thinking .. Gah! I gained a lot of weight… I am a pig!!!!

I forgot that … that… I am not… the center of the universe … that that… there are people who needs me and who is more important that the scale… or my self…

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coup de etat

went to a second interview yesterday at puregold office ar romualdez [near paco park]. HR asked me to come at 9am. got there, 9:07am, I even rode the pedicab and I have to pay 20 bucks for a short ride just so I can get there on time. I was really really embarrassed to be 7 minutes late though and I promise myself that I’ll be better the next interviews.

I got to talk to the hr officer 12:30 and she ask me 3 questions in a span of 5 minutes and the over use line: we’ll call you.

I don’t think they are even ready for us. why do they even call?

the other guys there said that they (hr) are acting like we don’t exist.

puregold doesn’t value time. they don’t care if you are rotting like hell in front of them. this is the interview, what more if you are already working in their company???????

needless to say, there wont be any 3rd interview for me. whether they will call or not it’s a NO NO to puregold for me.

while there I received a text that I have an interview that same morning. Ouch. I should have attended that interview instead.

but…

im still jobless and I have no more money and ill prolly die of starvation only ill be the happiest cuz thinesss is heaven for me….

gah

then there was this article in marie Claire about abuse at home.

then I remember this guy from work who makes batok every girl in the office. and calls people tanga and the last time I met up w/ him he called me ulol.

Im doing this free work for him. and were supos to be meeting for it and cuz he is like this always cussing im having a hard time finishing his project that im doing and in the end I always end up gettimg more cuss words from him.

im abuse by this guy verbally. for him its just words but they rae hurtful words that… that … freakin bring me down every time id see him..

fuck

I dont even want to see him but I have too cuz I still need to give him the prints…

I should call the hotline for battered woman now… cuz im verbally battered and I wonder how it is at work.. him abusing the other women there…

im thinking of emailing the HR botu this but…

but im…

I don’t know….

can somebody please tell me itll be okay and theres hope and…

just perk me up…

im down there… in a pit… I cant get out.

my life nowadays consist of watching PBB and cartoons and I dont want to even go out and feel the sun on my skin… cuz it’ll hurt more

i…

I wish that… I can sleep this out and when Ill wake up everything is great again like it was when im 2…

cuz something bad happened to me when im 3.

se**ally bad?

my life is a misery in the making…. im paying the bad things that I did when im … in my past life prolly…

poo me.

insane in the membrane

the day started bad…

i have red eyes and i cant wear my contacts and i cant find my eyeglass and i have an inetrview at 9am and im still looking for my glasses at 8!

i left home w/o my glasses and i cant see anything.

got to the interview place at 10 so i went home instead and here i am miserable thinking what if that company is supposedly my new company?????

and i cnt call them cuz i dont know what to say and…and im freakin miserable cuz when i got home my eyes are no longer red and i saw my glasses at the back of my peeceee and i feel like crying and…

and my mother wants to ask whats wronmg and i cant tell her cuz i donbt want her to feel bad also but i guess im pulling everybody here down cuz im down and i…

i just want to …

to get over teh night w/o jumping the bridge…

not that theres any bridge in here…

….

..

.

ever elusive

zanjo likes bianca at PBB… hayyyy… devastating!!!

havent got my mens this month and i feel so overly bloated already… mainly cuz our TV is at the kitchen and im always munching while watching….

on the bright side, i have boobs that i wish to take pics of keep as a memoray that i once have it… cuz after the PMSing period itll be gone…

hah!

im confuse… i dont like the weight but i like the boobs… theres my dilemma… to think its not even big… just okay for me cuz im like really really really flat chested… theres this one time in bed… im fooling around w/ this guy friends of mine and he like said… lalaki ka ba? cuz im overly flat chested nga…

i almost kick him.. but hes just joking… that kinda hurt… tho he is…

thats why its been a frustration for me…

well im frustrated w/ lotsa stuff at the moment so…

my friends are inviting me for a fiesta at batangas sto tomas but im broke bhu hu hu….

i… i want to go and have fun anf leave the house lang and the TV and the though t of food for a while…

tho there prolly be lotsa food there at least im wlaking naman di ba…

lifesabitch!

stampede

i feel weird that everytime id see a crowd im scared that there might be an stampede…

ala lang…

went to baclaran yesterday … this is the 1st time in my life to go there on a wednesday and its full…. i can only squeeze meself till the door… thats the farthest that i got…

but there are TV’s and stuff so i can hear the mass clearly and i went out right up cuz like what ive said im ADD w/ church and im trying not to concentrate on the columns of the ceiling else ill forget that i went there to request something…

and im thinking what cant i request straight to God and why do i need to ask his mother to tell him when there are lotsa other people who is there to request something…

cant god handle the request on his own and he needs his mother to help him sorting the request????

nothing really…

at the end i realized that i dont really have the faith of the other people who gies there and its futile if ill continue…

i know somewhere in my heart that no matter what i do i cant get my request cuz… its just too impossible and ….

i wish im wrong… cuz if im right … OUCHness!!!!

to think that im only out of job for a month and im already anal… imagine people who been looking for ayear now…

life is cruel!

sister

me sister said that this time i should get a job that i will stay long cuz im not getting any younger and the people wants youngbloos and im not youong blood anymore and the job that i want is the 1 in boracay but they havent called me yet…

prolly cuz i dont have a solid interior design job in the past…

i hate this…

i hate me…

i hate me resume…

when am i gonna make some waves??????? my waves???!!!!!

condom

i have this condom in my wallet … got it free fr cosmo but… its still there bhu hu hu…

=P

valentine sucks!!!!

how do you freakin loose fats in yor arms… my arms are all wigly!!!! arGh!

hate PBB!

its addicting!!!!

got free book from POWERBOOKS… travellers wife! its nice cant wait till i get to finish this….

anibody who wants to borrow???? treat nyo lang me fud oks na!