cry for help

So what to write!

Well last september 29, 2009…days after storm Ondoy damaged us physically and mentally…. BF arrive in Manila via KLM.

We just stayed home most of the time cuz there are lotsa storms that followed Ondoy.

We go0t married October 21. Which is also our BF/GF monthsary.

Twas a supr simple ceremony… just him and my family. Hes family is at UK and its uber expensive if they will join him. Hes not rich thats why.

last october 31… i tested positive! Im preggy. Wer happy. See i was diagnosed with polyps thingy in my fallopian tube and the OB said that im going to havea hard time conceiving a baby… plus im old…. so there… im glad that hubby has super sperm =P

the bad news….

theres always a bad news…

i resigned from work last august 14.. I reckon im old and i have to concentrate on my lovelife… (oh okay there are other reasons whixh ill tell you much later or prolly on other entry)….

its not december 26 and my receivables from my last company is still not with me. Im feeling hate to the girl who is suppose to sort my receivables.

because i hate her so much … it affected the baby. it turned out that what im feeling is well felt by the baby also….

one time i felt sup rdown cuz i need the money from my last pay to pay for bills. i skipped meals cuz im supr depressed….

it affected the baby.

on the latest ultrasound … i have bleeding just outside the womb area cuz by the stressed…

the OB gave me meds to make the baby cling on to my womb to prevent miscarriage….

but thing is… im also allergic…. so i need to transfer home…. even for awhile till the baby is fully formed… which i cant do cuz i still have no last pay….

i want to forget about the girl… but i cant….

all the misery im feeling is caused by her and i will … i might loose the baby…

and you know why i still havent got my last pay?????????????????

shes playing facebook, chatting om YM…. using the internet when shes suppose to be working

… im so helpless….

its like shes god…..

i need help guys

i dont know what to do …..

i dont want my baby to die

and yet i cant erase her in my brains….

and i wont get my last pay soon cuz this girl is vacationing somewhere.. having a blast….

and im here dreaming of her.. having violent thoughts.. bad nightmares….

help me…

pray for me peace…

pls help me…..

3 thoughts on “cry for help

  1. wring

    congrats! and sorry to hear you’re having a hard time. you just need to realize you need to take care of yourself and don’t let other people affect you so much. relax for your baby’s sake!

  2. hastyteenflick

    hey congrats on your wedding!!! 😀 and the baby!!! super happy for you.

    you have so many things to be thankful for, but by focusing on the negative, you make yourself miserable and ill. you’re with child, and you’ve married the man you love. try to focus on that. yung mga ibang tao hindi mo kontrolado yan, pero yung sarili mo, oo. pag-ingatan mo sana.


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