Monthly Archives: October 2012

Its Ok to be sad?

I started running about 2 weeks ago. I was very happy. I have to admit that I started not really running but just walking and running few steps and then walking again.

I do it in the promenade here and tho its cold.. few steps made the weather bearable. I am most happy. I dont have the whole running shebang. I only have running shoes, jeans and a jacket. I do run at night so I dont think people really notices that I dont have the proper attire. As I said I am happy so I dont care.

What made me happier is when my husband started running again as well. We would bring our son with us. Running with his pram. People now look at us. Couple running with a pram is something that you dont see often in this part of town.

We started investing in few stuff when the weather started to be brutal. It actually the wind that is bad. I bought this jacket that really really good. I dont feel the cold at all!

Husband bought running tights too when I saw his butt eat his working pants in one of our run.

He got a bit concious hehe.. told him I am probably the only person who looks at his butt when he runs.. he bought it .. its okay.. it means he is getting wee bit serious about running.

We also got an installment thingy from a baby store. We buying a sports buggy so that my toddler son is more comfy when were running and hes stuck in the pram. At least him pram is the right one for running. Were thinking of his safety too.

What made me happier is when I finally was able to run longer distance. Theres something about it.. something nice. I was able to accomplish few days only after I started. Its a high im telling you. I am slow.. as compare to the other runner but I dont care. I am running and .. I am pregressing.. thats the most important thing.

In one of our jogs we also saw a mini-marathon. That gave me and hubby a goal. We said we are joining that marathon in their next run! We are going to work hard for that.

And we are. We are religious in running. No matter what me missed in our attire we balance it with our .. craving for the run.

Few days ago when I’m running alone cuz son needs to stay home. I trip in one of the manhole in the promenade.

My ankle got a bit painful but I can still walk. I walked home. Still happy that I was able to run.

We run again after that. But in the next run its so painful and I can only do strides.. or limping.

I notice too that my ankle is a bit swollen.

I am still in pain and I cant go to my part time work ( i make pizza) .. but mostly its.. I CAN NO LONGER RUN.

it made me sad… the only things.. exercise that I can do free and.. not be judged .. and i cant do it anymore….

before i started running… I am really really sad for a lot of things … death of a dear dog, lack of money, missing home, wanting to have a diff job…

and running saved me from being sadder.

now that my running got cut short… i ,, im saddest…

I dont have any means to clear my head… and I am in pain.. and the weather is getting colder and the days gloomier…

I cry when I bathe and my life is so.. I dont have direction.. few days ago I have a goal (running the promenade mini-marathon) now I dont.

There are so many things that I am dreaming of doing… studying Interior Design at this internet school, going home, getting braces… but they all cost a lot.. running that mini marathon cost next to nothing and.. and i lost my chance to do it…

To most of your readers (If I even have some) its nothing… but to me a girl whos got nothing.. its everything..

and I lost my chance to do it…

My life is so mess up.. I cant sort it… I am so sad and I have to admit that sometimes I was thinking if im dead.. everything will be ok… my fam will have money andI will no longer bug people..

Its only my son who is keeping me from doing it cuz I dont want him to grow alone…lonely..

But I cant help thinking of it.. when you are sad you wont..

I dont know who to run too.. Hubby is .. I think hes so frustrated of me being always sad… hes prolly fed up of me now..

He doesnt read this Blog…

If you are reading this.. please help me.

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He did what?

My son took this.. he likes to tinker with gadgets so much and ..
lj1
this is how he sees me.. tall.. and its a marvel that in a few years hell be as tall as me and then taller… yipes!

He also drew this using paint…
beandoodles1
its like fractal aint it =P
or is it just me….

and he sleeps to this…
DSCF3978lj
yep addicted to monsters inc… and well just about any apps in the Ipad.. if you suddenly receive a call, skype, YM, tweet, instagram fr me that looks awfully weird..ITS NOT ME! Its him. I am sorry if you do… Its just that..im doing something & i need his attention diverted to something else i.e. ipad or TV or some coloring book but mostly the Ipad… so that I can do chores… else I cant and wont finish anything i want him to be abreast with tech..

sorry this is just random post about him..im glad that he is ok now and that he is.. tinkering with a lot of things… doodling… watching..growing

Almost a Fashion Blog Entry

LJ

me and hubby are trying to do a fashion blog and im dressing up… yep that picture ^ thats me dressed up already hehe.. hes suppose to take pictures of me wearing diff stuff .. (more like 3 dresses ..hehe i dont have much) and i’ll try to do a fashion post here.

but my son is soooooooo cranky and he wont left me go even if we give him ipad…

so the fashion blog try is not successful.. but ive got lots of hugs from my son…

My tweets

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!

Ive decided that no one can uplift my spirit other than ME =P

so i will post a happy post! Me son – a toddler now… time really flies!

I have to admit I am not a good mother.. why else would he still wear a nappy at 2 when I am a good mom.

He is okay I guess my son… I am just glad that he is pooing normally now (Am I the only mother whose happy when their child poo???? =P) and the Hirchsprung Disease that he was diagnosed with before is just a bleak memory.. our past. That’s the best thing ever beating HD!

He is.. perky lil kid…. fuzzy eater but he eats yogurt like theres no tomorrow..

I reckon if I am in Manila I will make him like a model in those magazine… he is not goodlooking tho hehe… but I will try nonetheless in pushing him to have a career at 2 =P

I am a stagemother like that.

In here he is alone. he deosnt know how to play with other kids and he is.. a bit aloof with other people…

We are attending a MEND program.. its to help him eat more… and he is slowly opening up I think… He still goes out of the crowd but he is watching other kids in MEND and that’s okay with me.

I just want to remind myself that even if im poor… I am lucky that my son is OKAY now and thats… thats on the bright side!