Monthly Archives: November 2012

After the storm!

I had a really really bad Sunday  and I am dreading monday cuz it might be worse …

So then Monday came.

I got his email telling me that I won!

I won!

THIS:

look

I dont know the details of the winning so I cant expound on this yet!

But I won and this is something BIG!  They said that the shoe that I designed will be manufactured & be sold!!!! For sale next year folks!!!!!!!!

TGIM!

Theres really a rainbow after a storm.. this is my rainbow…. i need to .. tidy myself up and ..not be depress by small things I guess.. My son will be better.. my career will be better.. my relationship with hubby will be better..

I just need to keep my faith (pun intended =P)

Mission: Get to know how toddler works!

Last Sunday was very very badfor me.  SOn is beyond cranky!

After he went and had fun here:
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he just wont stop crying and running to places hes not suppose to go…. When I would pick him up he would arch his back and try to run.. when Im holding him tighter… something inside me is asking if im hurting him… Ugh! WHat should I do?

he also did slap my face.. I know I know hes doesnt mean to be bad and hes just being a toddler… but its hurts cuz people can see cuz were outside.. its not a nice feeling =(

I was suppose to be like excited cuz I got this new cool coat
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from topshop but NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My son's crankiness killed everything! I dont understand him at all.  I need to understand him cuz otherwise our days will be like that>>> him killing the fun. I want to be better! I dont want to have a bad day everytime he is crankiness!

So i vow to read books about toddlers! Starting with this book:
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Ill tell you updates… what I read in this book if its a good book ..helpful… stuff…. i just wish this mission will work… I dont want to be a bad mom =(

All about

hatthe money aint it?

Its almost lunch time and my toddler needs to eat lunch but my freezed food is out so i need to buy food for him.  Problem is I only have a pound and cheapest healthy food for him is about 2 pounds and I dont have any money in my bank and my husband didnt leave me any penny.

iu searched and l;ooked around the house .. found 40pence and I only need 60 pence…

cant find any…

So i just bought him

Some hot pastry for lunch ..good thing i have fruits like apples and banana.  toodler ate that to fill up some more

i feel so bad.. but im not crying… i am mad…

i am writing this here to remind me that this happened… i dont have any and i need to feed my son…

I dont know what to do but I am applying for this job at Holland and Baretts but its only 3.5 hours a week.. it wont do.. this will not happen in Manila as I have relatives there where I can run to to borrow money or ask for food..

but i have to remind myself that I am not there anymore and I am here

Alone.

I am so tired of whining and I know you are too.

I am.. I am so lost.  I dont want to whine anymore.  But what will I do?

I dont .. have choices here

Some people said to me that I do?

What are they?

I dont want this to happen again.. I can stay long without eating but my son… I dont want him to get hungry =(

I dont and will not cry anymore

I just feel so fucked up!

Im sorry if i whining again LJ friends..this is all that I can do.. hopefully tomorrow Ill have money from husband… he never leaves me money

what does he think??? I have money from what???? prostitution???????????

FML!

Guilt

I already fed him brekkie and hes settled so i was about to start with drying dishes and cleaning when i saw this is my living room
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my toddler is alone and is looking at the wall (TV is not even on) and i felt so guilty that he is alone and have no one to play with or to talk to so i carried him and opened the TV and talked to him about the program…

i feel really guilty that he is alone a lot of times

Having babies is ‘barrier to equality’ says former Equalities Minister

I seldom comment on serious matters because I don't view myself as political enough but this issue/news article is something that made me ponder so much.

Read it from here Having babies is 'barrier to equality'.

I am job hunting. Ive been out of job since I got pregnant. To be honest I am scared to advertised myself but I have to do it because I dont know any other platform to get a job. Blogging is what I know. I am scared because it been awhile and my job uses technology that evolves so fast I can't keep up when I was working and it left me behind when i stopped.

Meaning I might have forgotten the old knowledge that I have before (you really loses things that you dont use) and I am not updated with the new things that they use now.

In the article the former Equalities Minister Lynne Featherstone said:

‘I think that it [having a baby] is a bit of a setback to women because it gives an opportunity – whether it’s in commerce, politics or wherever you work – to men to climb the ladder faster. There is a period of a woman’s life – where she may need to take a break or work at a different rate,’ she continued.

It might be true in my case sadly.  But the thing is I know some other mom who is still blazing in their field in the same ways the guys are.
 
I was just left out because I stopped so long that my contemporaries left me.  They now know more and are faster in doing the things that we use to do at the same speed before.  Even the ones that are under me are now ahead of me.

So I would like ot think that she is wrong.  I think the reason why you are left behind its cuz you stopped too long.  Women might have stopped but if they go back faster they dont lose their momentum.

The barrier to equality really is the old norm that guys are the main income earner hence they should be paid more and the mums are just helping so they can do with a salary thats less compared to the guys.

I might be wrong.  As i told you I have been in hiatus for so long that I dont think I am allowed to comment on these things anymore cuz im .. I am no  longer in touch….

I wish that I didnt stopped this long but I think that my baby deserved the time that I spent on/with him and is spending with him now.  I want a freelance job because I can work in an environment that wont intimidate me,  that I am comfortable with: our house, our home.  Reading articles like this doesnt really help in making my self esteem go better.  But it is true, a reality to some of us mums (and I think some of the dads too that needs to stop due to recession or some other reasons) who stopped working for our child/children.

When we stopped, our contemporaries (men or women) moves ahead of us.

Wow I am so serious hehe… on the bright side I decided to go back to working (no jobs available though..yet) and i would like to think that given time I would go back where i left of..

Gimme some lovin people =P give me a job =)

xxx

Job Hunting!

I am an Architecture Graduate and I love creating and drawing and anything that has something to do with building structure. I was a CAD Operator and I miss looking and revising plan.

CAD works is something that I can do while being a mother. I have work with this really really small project at mu husband comp and I was able to do it fast while babysitting my son.

I want to do it.

I decided to sell myself in here.

Do you need someone to draw for you?

DO CAD works for you?

I am your man..errr … woman!

I can do 2D CAD fast!

Here are some samples of my works its 3D but ill post 2D samples soon!:

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These are 3D Perspective of houses commissioned by different clients. I use the program REVIT to make these 3D’s which I can’t afford to buy here but I can buy those cheap 2D/3D programs to make something like these.

Some draft of a house that I did:
work

So come on! Hire me now!!!!

You can contact me at:
Merlinda Little
merlinda.little@gmail.com
twitter: @pixiedusk

Thanks!

Whats inside my bag?!

I always like this Cosmo Philippines website section where they show whats inside local celebs bag contents and I decided to do my own version!

bag
This is my mummy bag >>> A Betsey Johnson Black Patent Bag

Whats inside?
Bag Contents
Ugh I just realized how boring my bag contents is!!! I sometimes have Kitkats =P if that helps at all

Whats inside the Make-up Kit?
KikayKit
Oh man I really dont know what to do with this picture.. it wont rotate! So just rotate your head to see what’s inside my Make-up bag and yeah I have gazillions of Lip Products cuz my skin is sooOOOooooo dry!

That is whats in my bag but I have new stuff to add soon so I will update this!

Why dont you take picture/s of your bag and its contents ans SHOW ME SHOW ME!

Bristol Zoo – A rainy Day Out (Warning: A really really long post)

Every ones spirit is up inspite of the rain. Yes it is raining hard and yet we are on our way to the BRISTOL ZOO for free thanks to Money Supermarket!

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Parking is £3 for the whole day. An okay amount considering Hubby usually spends £6 for half a day when we visit the city. I thought that we’ll be the only people who’ll visit the place due to the weather but I was wrong as a lot of other families are there. We got the map and we followed it religiously. Flamingos, Lions, Red Panda, Bats, Twilight world, Amphipod, Huge Tortoise and the part that I dread the Reptile House *snakes=cringe*, Then the Aquarium!
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Whew! That’s a non stop animal viewing there and were now starving! Next stop is their restaurant. You are not allowed to eat your own food inside but they have tables outside for that.
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We just ordered hot drinks and lunch for our toddler so that hes eating something warm. Sausage on baked beans with chips for him which cost £4. I think its rather expensive.
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We then head of to the Bug world after.I love the working beehive!

We went to this Zoo cuz of the Gorillas. The star of this Zoo. After the Small monkey its time to see the real King of the Jungle (at least for us)…they are inside their cage because of the weather =(

Disappointed we head towards the Seals and Penguin Coasts. We felt okay again seeing the perky animals. They are feeding the Penguin when we arrive. We watch them flawlessly catch the fishes being thrown by the Zookeeper. Priceless.
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We then went to the playing Seals next. The rain started to pick up again but the stunts that these Seals are pulling made us ignore it. We then went to the tunnel to see them in a diff angle. They are swimming above us!
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We breeze through the next animals on display >>> Pygmy Hippo, Monkeys from Zona Brazil, Okapi, Cute Tamarins (that my husband wants to bring home).
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It is the Meerkat that my toddler enjoyed the most. Glass separates them from us that’s why my he can see them move around. We have to literally drag him out of there.
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We saw a Test your speed board and hubby went to test his. He went really fast and hubby fell on the pavement. There is a sign that said ADULTS SHOULD EXERCISE RESTRAINT > Hubby ignored it and well… He slid and fell =P Can I suggest for them to make that sign bigger.
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We then went to the Terrace Theater where there will show some animals to the kids. They are showing snakes>>> Yipes! The area for show me show me is too small. Though there’s just another child who is there to watch they are still cramped.

Tired, we went back to Coral Restaurant to seat and eat some snacks that we have. And for Hubby to recover from the fall. Our toddler is a bit cranky already, a sign of tiredness.

We were ready to go home and Hubby want to take pictures of the Gorilla Island ‘For the Blog’, he said.

AND THE GORILLAS ARE OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Eating. Playing a bit and just being their Majestic self.

Would I recommend you to visit the Bristol Zoo? BIG YES! The Zoo entrance price is a bit steep at £14.50/Adults but when you go inside and see how big the place is and how many plants and animals there are (400 species) you will realize that its worth it. Saying this the Zoo is really big so it takes about a day to see everything. Be armed. Like I am with a toddler and the pram came in handy for him to use everytime he looks tired.

I notice how my son would only react to animals that he can see closely than to look at the ones that are far.
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Good thing that the Zoo tried to be as interactive as possible as they can with animals. Visitors can go into a lot of cages like the butterflies, bats and birds to be with the animals.

Thanks be to these free standing toys toddlers wont get bored in this Zoo!
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What I like best is the Environment Campaign that’s visible all over the zoo. They have flyers/infos.exhibits telling people the importance of being good to animals and the environment. Instilling the cause to the kids early. Issues that I truly support.
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We went to their store before going home and Hubby is looking for souvenir of this nice outing but hes not happy with the things available in their store. They need more stuff with Bristol Zoo logo’s in it especially the gorilla stuff toy.

They are doing a lot of development works in the Gorilla Area to give them bigger area to roam around. WE NEED TO GO BACK FOR THAT!
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We would definitely go back again (and again and again)!!!

Hubby!

Hubby and I are not doing well since last Friday. I have to admit that I am blaming him for my bad day. He could have added extra effort in our Zoo plans..

Its sad that his last days of staycation leave is spent us not talking, mostly me ignoring him. But Im really really hurt for what had happened last Friday.

Hes making a lot of effort into me talking to him again, he cleaned the house and he is doing the dishes .. little ways to say im sorry I guess.

He also bought this Jacket. Sweet huh?

Made me realizue that tho we had a very very bad day last Friday. I am still lucky to have my hubby. Firstly, No one would ever want me cuz im ugly and fat but he does want me.

He is an okay dad. He plays with my son and he never complain complain no matter how cranky my son gets. He never complained since my son is a baby who would never stop crying. He is the only person (between us at least =P) who can pacify our 5 days old baby from crying. He would sway him..to make him Dizzy stop crying. He also is okay with our co-sleeping set up. He is okay with his hair this long and he plays with him like theres no tomorrow.

We are not well off I have to admit that too. There are times when we are living in over-drafts but he never complains when he needs to get another jon just so we can have extra money for our electricity.

He also never complains when I get moody. I have to tell you that I am annoying. I even annoy myself. I am a drama queen.

He is married to a neurotic girl and yet he is the one who is making little things for our relationship to work.

He gets my craziness. I am a little left of center and a little out of tune (michelle branch song lyrics) but he gets me and hes ok with it…. he supports it…

When I want my picture taken to join contest.

He just… hes just patient…

Hes got faults true but I have more…

I thank God for him….

He said that we are going to the Zoo tomorrow. Im not going to expect that its going to be perfect… I am actually scared that its going to go crazy again but its okay…

Ill just.. Ill just wish for the best… Hope that tomorrow’s plan will turn out right…

If its not at least ill get another jacket mwahaha… I am sharing the pain with a great guy -Hubby!

Fireworks Display by the Sea

Im sorry if im bugging you guys with bad essays.. I am.. well I stopped blogging a few years and going back seems weird and there’s really nothing thats happening in my life as a mum here.

As my son and I are alone (except for this week as Hubby went on a holiday.. staycation =P) I try to attend all the playgroups that are happening near here to expose my son to other kids. He is an only son and he seemed to be a bit of a loner. I reckon if I make him expose to other kids he will not be a loner anymore. I am wrong tho =P he still plays alone but hopefully he will play with kids soon. I have to admit that I stopped attending few ones where you need to pay 1pound (wow I just realized I dont have pound sign in my key!) as that’s like a day’s worth of electricity already. Precious =P

I also like attend events at night so that my son will be expose to crowds. Like earlier we went out to see fireworks display by the sea. Its uber cold and im trembling but its ok. The fireworks are by the Local Grand pier and twas awesome! We are close to the fireworks and it looks like its going to fall on us… like when you watch 3D!
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It took a bit long that my son got use to its grandness and he started just wanting to play in the sand. When its done I felt happy again and warm inside… Events like this is really nice …. I think well make this a fam tradition…. so see you again next year fireworks.

Thank you Grand Pier
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Goodnight Weston-Super-Mare.. Its nice to be living here.

xxx