Monthly Archives: November 2012

After the storm!

I had a really really bad Sunday  and I am dreading monday cuz it might be worse …

So then Monday came.

I got his email telling me that I won!

I won!



I dont know the details of the winning so I cant expound on this yet!

But I won and this is something BIG!  They said that the shoe that I designed will be manufactured & be sold!!!! For sale next year folks!!!!!!!!


Theres really a rainbow after a storm.. this is my rainbow…. i need to .. tidy myself up and ..not be depress by small things I guess.. My son will be better.. my career will be better.. my relationship with hubby will be better..

I just need to keep my faith (pun intended =P)

Mission: Get to know how toddler works!

Last Sunday was very very badfor me.  SOn is beyond cranky!

After he went and had fun here:
he just wont stop crying and running to places hes not suppose to go…. When I would pick him up he would arch his back and try to run.. when Im holding him tighter… something inside me is asking if im hurting him… Ugh! WHat should I do?

he also did slap my face.. I know I know hes doesnt mean to be bad and hes just being a toddler… but its hurts cuz people can see cuz were outside.. its not a nice feeling =(

I was suppose to be like excited cuz I got this new cool coat
from topshop but NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My son's crankiness killed everything! I dont understand him at all.  I need to understand him cuz otherwise our days will be like that>>> him killing the fun. I want to be better! I dont want to have a bad day everytime he is crankiness!

So i vow to read books about toddlers! Starting with this book:
Ill tell you updates… what I read in this book if its a good book ..helpful… stuff…. i just wish this mission will work… I dont want to be a bad mom =(

All about

hatthe money aint it?

Its almost lunch time and my toddler needs to eat lunch but my freezed food is out so i need to buy food for him.  Problem is I only have a pound and cheapest healthy food for him is about 2 pounds and I dont have any money in my bank and my husband didnt leave me any penny.

iu searched and l;ooked around the house .. found 40pence and I only need 60 pence…

cant find any…

So i just bought him

Some hot pastry for lunch ..good thing i have fruits like apples and banana.  toodler ate that to fill up some more

i feel so bad.. but im not crying… i am mad…

i am writing this here to remind me that this happened… i dont have any and i need to feed my son…

I dont know what to do but I am applying for this job at Holland and Baretts but its only 3.5 hours a week.. it wont do.. this will not happen in Manila as I have relatives there where I can run to to borrow money or ask for food..

but i have to remind myself that I am not there anymore and I am here


I am so tired of whining and I know you are too.

I am.. I am so lost.  I dont want to whine anymore.  But what will I do?

I dont .. have choices here

Some people said to me that I do?

What are they?

I dont want this to happen again.. I can stay long without eating but my son… I dont want him to get hungry =(

I dont and will not cry anymore

I just feel so fucked up!

Im sorry if i whining again LJ friends..this is all that I can do.. hopefully tomorrow Ill have money from husband… he never leaves me money

what does he think??? I have money from what???? prostitution???????????



I already fed him brekkie and hes settled so i was about to start with drying dishes and cleaning when i saw this is my living room
my toddler is alone and is looking at the wall (TV is not even on) and i felt so guilty that he is alone and have no one to play with or to talk to so i carried him and opened the TV and talked to him about the program…

i feel really guilty that he is alone a lot of times

Having babies is ‘barrier to equality’ says former Equalities Minister

I seldom comment on serious matters because I don't view myself as political enough but this issue/news article is something that made me ponder so much.

Read it from here Having babies is 'barrier to equality'.

I am job hunting. Ive been out of job since I got pregnant. To be honest I am scared to advertised myself but I have to do it because I dont know any other platform to get a job. Blogging is what I know. I am scared because it been awhile and my job uses technology that evolves so fast I can't keep up when I was working and it left me behind when i stopped.

Meaning I might have forgotten the old knowledge that I have before (you really loses things that you dont use) and I am not updated with the new things that they use now.

In the article the former Equalities Minister Lynne Featherstone said:

‘I think that it [having a baby] is a bit of a setback to women because it gives an opportunity – whether it’s in commerce, politics or wherever you work – to men to climb the ladder faster. There is a period of a woman’s life – where she may need to take a break or work at a different rate,’ she continued.

It might be true in my case sadly.  But the thing is I know some other mom who is still blazing in their field in the same ways the guys are.
I was just left out because I stopped so long that my contemporaries left me.  They now know more and are faster in doing the things that we use to do at the same speed before.  Even the ones that are under me are now ahead of me.

So I would like ot think that she is wrong.  I think the reason why you are left behind its cuz you stopped too long.  Women might have stopped but if they go back faster they dont lose their momentum.

The barrier to equality really is the old norm that guys are the main income earner hence they should be paid more and the mums are just helping so they can do with a salary thats less compared to the guys.

I might be wrong.  As i told you I have been in hiatus for so long that I dont think I am allowed to comment on these things anymore cuz im .. I am no  longer in touch….

I wish that I didnt stopped this long but I think that my baby deserved the time that I spent on/with him and is spending with him now.  I want a freelance job because I can work in an environment that wont intimidate me,  that I am comfortable with: our house, our home.  Reading articles like this doesnt really help in making my self esteem go better.  But it is true, a reality to some of us mums (and I think some of the dads too that needs to stop due to recession or some other reasons) who stopped working for our child/children.

When we stopped, our contemporaries (men or women) moves ahead of us.

Wow I am so serious hehe… on the bright side I decided to go back to working (no jobs available though..yet) and i would like to think that given time I would go back where i left of..

Gimme some lovin people =P give me a job =)


Job Hunting!

I am an Architecture Graduate and I love creating and drawing and anything that has something to do with building structure. I was a CAD Operator and I miss looking and revising plan.

CAD works is something that I can do while being a mother. I have work with this really really small project at mu husband comp and I was able to do it fast while babysitting my son.

I want to do it.

I decided to sell myself in here.

Do you need someone to draw for you?

DO CAD works for you?

I am your man..errr … woman!

I can do 2D CAD fast!

Here are some samples of my works its 3D but ill post 2D samples soon!:

These are 3D Perspective of houses commissioned by different clients. I use the program REVIT to make these 3D’s which I can’t afford to buy here but I can buy those cheap 2D/3D programs to make something like these.

Some draft of a house that I did:

So come on! Hire me now!!!!

You can contact me at:
Merlinda Little
twitter: @pixiedusk


Whats inside my bag?!

I always like this Cosmo Philippines website section where they show whats inside local celebs bag contents and I decided to do my own version!

This is my mummy bag >>> A Betsey Johnson Black Patent Bag

Whats inside?
Bag Contents
Ugh I just realized how boring my bag contents is!!! I sometimes have Kitkats =P if that helps at all

Whats inside the Make-up Kit?
Oh man I really dont know what to do with this picture.. it wont rotate! So just rotate your head to see what’s inside my Make-up bag and yeah I have gazillions of Lip Products cuz my skin is sooOOOooooo dry!

That is whats in my bag but I have new stuff to add soon so I will update this!

Why dont you take picture/s of your bag and its contents ans SHOW ME SHOW ME!