First day of Pre-school

Dear Sebastian,

This is the first time that ill write a post for you to read. Or maybe i did already but mom's brain is just too shabby.

You my little boy Little started school last Tuesday, Sept 3ish me thinks.

And you were good and I left you and you're super happy that I asked myself am I a bad mom and he is so happy to get rid of me???? Its chaotic these nurseries.  Kids running like crazy and this is my excuse for not taking any pictures of you on this milestonic day.  A thing that i'll probably dread my whole life.

I picked you up and give you food and twas like nothing epic happened to you.

The next day was ok too.  You said you are walking and I made a mental note that what it really means is that Ill carry you all the way and you will just walk to pick some fowers on the pavement.  Massive mistake on my part.. on my arm part.

and then.. you bawled your eyes out nd you dont want me to leave you.  Is it okay to admit that I felt relieved.  Whew! That was close.  Mommy intuition kicked in.. he didnt had a nice day? Was he bullied by the other 3 years old? Is he sick? What? What? What?????

When I arrived home just so you know I have gazzilion stuff to do like wash the dishes, shoo the bird on the terrace, clean their poo, shoo them some more and stuff.  I werent able to do them cuz I am thinking of you worried.

I dont know what to do ben.

Its .. your not the only one who is having a separation anxiety and its worse cuz I am not allowed to bawlover to express it.

I set off early to fetch you buying kinder egg surprise to give as a reward to you.  I promised to lessen your chocolate intake but this are those moments that needs some chocolates.

You look normal when you went out… holding a box of smarties.  I felt bad cuz someone  beats me into giving you a rewards. Oh well.

Another day for us.

Daddy bought you a big pack of MnM's and i didn't give you a lot cuz of my promise (not to give you much chocolates).

Day 3.  You woke up really really really late.  Just 2 hours (Less actually) before we needs to go and your super duper sluggish.

I gave you all fruits as its the only easy food to eat when were hurrying up and you kept on sayng No Mommy No School!

Gosh I wonder when I started saying that cuzits too early to be hearing from you.

You are still cooperative.  Climbing that red creaky pram (my arm part has learned their lesson) and while were on our way you kept on saying … No school mommy. Or was it mummy?

I felt bad again cuzI know how one feels when they are being forse to go to school.

But you are 3ish.

You are not yet doing calculus so I would like to think that this is separation anxiety still.

I have to lure you in.  You dont want to go in.  Part of me is again proud that you are standing your ground but baby .. this is life.  And I am no just saying it to you but me as well.  We have to do this.

If I an only just make you stay home forever I will but you hve to learn how to share, you have to learn how to say blue in polish, you have to learn how to tidy up better and you have to learn that from now on you are really going to do these things that you dont want cuz…. you have too.

I miss you already and its still like an hour till your release and im already excited to walk back to get you.

We'll get over this together.

One day you will go there and non chalantly go & Ill worry again if its me being a bad mom/mum.

if its helps…. tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!!! YEy!

Love,
Mommy/Mummy

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