In my country, we celebrate mother's day every May. In here you celebrate it March 30 this year. As this would have made my mother a wee bit confuse this for me is an opportunity to appreciate her patience and strength twice.
My mother is like any mother of course caring, gentle and fierce when she needs to. There are lots of things that I would have wanted her to do differently like not staying with my father or not be as generous. And think of herself more. But that is what she is and what she is makes her the best.
She made many sacrifices of course. She gave me thesis money that she could have use for her eyes check. She would walk far just to save money on fare. Before when water is hard to get in my country. She would wake up 4am and use a manual hand pump just so we can have water to use the whole day. She did this every day till water supply was available. Years. it took years before we got a decent water supply.
I can name a thousand more sacrifices that she made but I think the most painful sacrifice that she did was to let me and my son go. Go here in the UK when the only thing that she wants in the world is to see my son grow up near her. So that she can shower him with hugs and kisses and love.
She let us go of course because my son needs to be here to live.
Painful that we are far but glad that he (my son) is alive.
My mother's eyesight is going bad. A lot of times she would fall because she can't see the floor, pavement shes walking on. When I was still there I would always walk with her to the market and hold her tight because I know she cant see well. When we are using skype she can only see us if her face is touching the screen of her netbook. Everytime I blog about my son and she is checking the pictures, my sister said she would mistook me for my husband and my husband for me. She can't see properly.
She got some money from her social security system that she can use for her eyes or to get our house that was damaged by the last storms fixed. And yet she is saving the money for me. Because she knows that I have nothing here and when there's an emergency and I need to go back home I can use that money.
She said she is old and she can live with the darkness. It is us the young who needs to use the money.
And what i really wanted was to buy her a big screen to connect to her netbook so that she can see my son better. But i really have no money here. Nothing to send her.
And that breaks my heart. And I am trying to join competitions so that i can buy her that monitor.
But winning is elusive nowadays like money or luck.
I cant be home, nor buy her things but I am.. I can and I will always be thinking of her. And miss her and wish that I can hug her. Cuz I want to and I need to.
Happy Mother's Day Nanay. I will greet you again on May because you deserve more than a day to be appreciated.