Random Thoughts 7107

Big Yellow Taxi
by Joni Mitchell

They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot
With a pink hotel, a boutique
And a swinging hot spot

Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Till it's gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot

They took all the trees
Put 'em in a tree museum
And they charged the people
A dollar and a half just to see 'em

Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Till it's gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot

Hey farmer farmer
Put away that DDT now
Give me spots on my apples
But leave me the birds and the bees
Please!

Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Till it's gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot

Late last night
I heard the screen door slam
And a big yellow taxi
Took away my old man

Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Till it's gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot

They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot.

—————————-

I use to be very very overwhelmed with the people around me. I only have one sister but I have a big extended family on both sides as my parents have 9 siblings each. A lot of them have same names. So in a way they (parents) are probably really meant to be together (much to my dismay).

Each year we have a baby at home. Relatives giving birth. Cousins giving birth and cousins' sons and daughter giving birth. There is a stream of children. The circle of life never ends. And it never will. So many people and they are around me. Playing, talking.

And when you are in the middle of that it can get overwhelming. And I did feel that. A lot of times I would lock myself inside my room to gain some kind of peace from the noise, drama and chaos that big family bring and gives.

Then when I grew up, got older there are things that this big family of mine gave that I dont like. Deaths (yes with a S). People growing old or some circumstances that being an adult carries. People died and suddenly I am missing family members. The thought and idea that they will stay there forever is broken. Some of them went away and will never go back.

Death.
Them being my family means that a part of them is alive within me and a part of me died with them.

And then I have to go far from them. Miles and miles (and miles) away. And I have to be by myself. When things go wrong with them I have so many minds working together to work and solve it out. When things go wrong here, I have to solve it myself. No one helps. And though it is nice to solve your problems by your lonesome. I miss the days when worries are divided.

I dont have lots of toys. I remember only having drawn dolls with dresses. But every afternoon I get out. I get dirty. I sweat. I cry. I play tag and I run like the wind scared of being chased and being the next it. In here my son has got containers and containers of toys but no one to play with. We do go out and play with him but it is the same? We get tired of playing at certain points while he is only beginning to rev up.

To my younger relatives, cousins. I know that you are overwhelmed too with the presence of people hovering, roaming around you. But enjoy it and go to your room, or to the toilet if its gets too much and breath. One day when you are an adult it will get lonely cuz you need to leave them and at some point they need to leave you.

Because, you don't know what you've got till it's gone.

xx

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

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