I am transferring photos from the laptop to the memory disk when my son saw a photo of me and husband (above). He then asked where he is. I answered he is still not in my tummy. Then he asked where he is before he got to my tummy?
How am I going to answer that?
A plan. You are still a plan! I answered.
Where do someone stay before mothers concieve them? Floating in the air? Inside me I suppose. Waiting for a partner in crime (Dad's sperm). Floating in my body trying to be ready for that moment where you can finally hi-five sperm and be something, someone. My son. Our son.
Sebastian, we are talking about you. If you are interested. We are worried that we are never going to have you as I am old. Also my OBGyne found some polyps in my fallopian tube. Your other half (sperm and lets call him S) will have to pass those and the Doctor said its a long and hard journey and S will be too tired and will die somewhere in there before he can go to E (my egg). So we are longing for you and we are scared that we might not have you. But we are certainly talking about you. Day dreaming. How we will have you and what we will call you. what you are going to be like.
But guess what? S defied science and got to E right up (those multi-vitamins helped a lot me thinks!)
And we have you! Yep you are those 2 lines!!!
We kept you as a secret for awhile even if in our hearts we are jumping for joy and Mom&Dad really wanted to shout and tell everyone that we have you. Even though you are special for being a kick ass the polyps baby we are scared that we are going to jinx it if we will tell people right up and something bad will happen to you and we will lose you. WE DONT WANT TO LOSE YOU. We told few people, your Lola (grandmother), Tita (Aunt Bagel) and Lolo (grandfather) on my side. On your Dad's side, he told his twin brother your Uncle Simon. They kept you a secret from your Nain for awhile as they said its too much of a news. Him getiing married and him being a Dad in the same month.
There. I think before you were you Sebastian. Half of you is me and the other half of you is your Dad's. But when I gave birth to you. You are no longer us but a separate person. You have the freedom to be what you want to be. You have the freedom to be as different or as the same as us. But no matter what we are happy that we have you now and we dont know how life is without you on our side.