In my country if you are working you can get a mandatory payment in addition to your salary in December (or earlier) and its called 13th month pay. This will help with the Christmas spending. A lot of times I get would buy something major like a TV, or an expensive gadget or an appliance that I want but is too expensive for a normal month. I also have lots of godchildren that are expecting something little when they visit me.
In here we dont get anything. And well I am jobless.
Its been really hard for us lately and when cold months would arrive we have to scrimp some more and theres no more budget for Christmas.
And at times I am thinking if I ignore it, if I dont acknowledge it it wont bother me.
But its hard. When I read other blogs its there. When I do school run I can see flyers and posters even in my son's school. Christmas is coming.
And when we went to the mall to relax ( and not buy anything) its there. The massive Christmas decoration. The pretty lights, the bright balls, the red coffee paper cups and the festive air.
This is my son's 4th Christmas on earth. Since his 1st Christmas I have nothing for him. As I am jobless and I cant really ask for money from anyone when I know that money is scarce during these times hence I never had a chance to buy and give him any gift.
He saw this in the mall. You know that penguin in the ads. He loves it. We have to literally drag him out of there. Out of Monty.
I wish I can give him something. I wish I can give him Monty. Or a litle Lego toy. A magazine. I wish one day he will say
'Mommy I want a Monty can we buy one?'
'Mommy I want a Monty can we ask Nain to buy it for me?'
Because you know it hurts that your son doesnt run to you when he wants something. I dont have anything against my in-law and I am so glad that she give my son what he wants and desires. Just sucks to be me.
When we went out of the mall he seemed to have forgotten about Monty and just enjoyed looking and seeing the rides, the lights and happy people outside.
I wish theres a real Santa and I can ask Santa for a job or maybe just that Monty toy. And I will give it to my son.
My son had been good this year. He's doing a lots of things that is out of his comfort zone. Trying things that he is scared of. And being just a good boy. I want to acknowledge that and reward him with a token.
But there is no Santa. =(