This is all too familiar for me. The strong wind, the rain and the flood. It feels like home actually but this is the part of home that I really wanted to forget. But with all the changes in the weather its inevitable that these things will happen.
These things, flood and its effect on people.
I was in so many flash flood that I thought I’ll get use to it but everytime it comes. It gives me fear. It brings back old bad memories. Time never heals the phobia that you get from it. It rest but when the rain comes pounding at your roof it goes back.
When the water in rising before in Manila. All that your body can do is react. Lift things that you are not capable of lifting on a normal situation. You just lift and lift and lift and in your mind you are praying, wishing, waiting for the water to stop rising already. It does end. The water. And then you will see everything being damaged by the water.
Pictures, books, clothes, shoes.
Even the security that you have before at home. That feeling that you are safe in there. The flood robs you of that.
You can wash your house. Maybe, hopefully removed the stains where the water were. But that line where it stayed the longest. It will stay in your mind.
It is always there.
You know where it is.
This last storms. It was nice to me and my family. It pounded on my roof, my door and my window pane but the water stayed outside. I know to a lot of people, water followed them inside their houses.
And it broke them.
There can never be any words that I can say to pacify that awful feeling but what I can tell you is that you will be vigil. You will be more alert next time and you will always treasure things more than they were.
Flood can erase, damage your pictures but the memories .. it will always be with you and you can keep that to keep you strong.
In flood, you are tested of the things that you value the most and that will be the first things that you will save. Lives. I am glad that no matter how many flood came in to my life… we are all still together to help each other recover.
This flood it will come back so lets be ready next time. Lets make our house higher, stronger.
I dont really know why im writing this blog post.
But I got really really scared last night. I cant sleep.
It came back, my fear.
This is a place that I thought I am safe =(
Now i feel vulnerable again.