One of the happiest moment of my life as a mother happened a week ago. My son is pooing in his potty while watching Cbeebies' 'Andy's Wild Adventure'. He point out their flying golf cart thingy and he said
'Mommy we can use that to go to the Philippines!'
I run to him and hugged him really really tight.
Every night we would pray for this together before we go to bed. Throw some coins on the fountain and light a candle in our church. His prayer or wish or request would be toys and mine would be to go home to see my parents and my sister.
Eventually he is praying for this and the dream to back home to the Philippines has been a shared prayer of ours.
My dream destination is The Philippines. I am from there and my son was born there. We went here in the UK last 2010 and we never had a chance to go back. So many years had passed and there's never a day that I am not dreaming on going back. Sometimes just to escape from homesickness I would close my eyes and create a movie in my head of me walking from the gate of our house to my room, to my bed. Not the prettiest bed (actually made of wood so its hard at the back) but the comfiest that my body knows of. In that daydream, I would see our dogs and my mother doing her washing. The colorful bougainvillea plants and my turtles! Dogs again and cats. My CDs and my Crow poster. And then my room.
In the kicthen, my fave dish is cooking. On the table I sit and the cats would go to my legs.
Outside I can hear children playing. Lots of them running and shouting.
And then I would wake up from my daydream. I never thought that its possible to miss people this much but I miss my family very much.
After our night prayers I would look at my son's face and imagine how my mother would feel seeing this same face. I can see her crying with happiness. I know that she will touch my son's face because she's got poor eyesight and her hands help her to see things better by feeling them. I would touch my son's face too to see what she would see. Innocence of a child sleeping. Happiness of a grandmother touching her grandchild. And I would think if my mother could feel my longing to her at those nights.
I would imagine how my father would feel walking with my son during our school run. My father is the only male in the family and I know how much he yearns for a son. I was so lucky to be able to give him a grandchild, a grandson and was sad that he was taken away from him as we need to go here for medical reasons. I can already see them pointing at the traffic signs that my son loves. I know my father will be happy to tell him every signs as he knows them by heart as he is a driver by profession. He must be very very proud of my son's fascination of traffic signs. On many days I think that my son loves traffic signs this much because he carries my father's blood. He is his grandson.
My sister would visit us every night while we are there in Manila. I think that given a chance she continue to do this. I know how much she loves him. She is the first one who saw my son after I gave birth. I was drugged so I cant remember that they gave him to me for a hug and a kiss. My sister, she is there with me in the hospital from 8am till I gave brith at 11pm and I woke up with her there. And yes she is the first one who saw my son. An honor.
But this is all a dream. A fantasy movie that I run too when I miss my family too much. Moreso lately. Or I will go insane.
So Manila is my dream destination. Not only because it is a pretty place to get to know but there is a lot of people there that I want my son to see. His roots. From where parts of him is. From where all of him is loved.
Scenery wise, my son had seen so much of nature here in the UK. I also want him to see what a tropical country is like. The forever there sun and the endless beach. I want him to have a taste of coconut juce not from a carton but from a tree. I want him to eat the sweetest and yellowest magoes, my mother's noodles, the weird looking seafoods. Get to know what a milkfish is. See the hospital where he is born. See the church where he was baptized. See the pediatricians who gave him his first ouchy vaccines. See his godparents. Meet countless relatives from both my mother and father sides ( I have 18 uncles and aunts). A whole barangay who saw me grow up.
Just thinking of this. What might have been. Already feels so good in the heart. I can only imagine how much joy and happiness I will feel if this dream would come true.
Ladies and gentlemen of the UK, The Philippines
This post is an entry for the #Flying100 Family Holiday Challenge, celebrating how flying allows us to make memories and ‘be there’, in association with #Flying100. Find out more at http://bit.ly/flying100