Tag Archives: run

Its Ok to be sad?

I started running about 2 weeks ago. I was very happy. I have to admit that I started not really running but just walking and running few steps and then walking again.

I do it in the promenade here and tho its cold.. few steps made the weather bearable. I am most happy. I dont have the whole running shebang. I only have running shoes, jeans and a jacket. I do run at night so I dont think people really notices that I dont have the proper attire. As I said I am happy so I dont care.

What made me happier is when my husband started running again as well. We would bring our son with us. Running with his pram. People now look at us. Couple running with a pram is something that you dont see often in this part of town.

We started investing in few stuff when the weather started to be brutal. It actually the wind that is bad. I bought this jacket that really really good. I dont feel the cold at all!

Husband bought running tights too when I saw his butt eat his working pants in one of our run.

He got a bit concious hehe.. told him I am probably the only person who looks at his butt when he runs.. he bought it .. its okay.. it means he is getting wee bit serious about running.

We also got an installment thingy from a baby store. We buying a sports buggy so that my toddler son is more comfy when were running and hes stuck in the pram. At least him pram is the right one for running. Were thinking of his safety too.

What made me happier is when I finally was able to run longer distance. Theres something about it.. something nice. I was able to accomplish few days only after I started. Its a high im telling you. I am slow.. as compare to the other runner but I dont care. I am running and .. I am pregressing.. thats the most important thing.

In one of our jogs we also saw a mini-marathon. That gave me and hubby a goal. We said we are joining that marathon in their next run! We are going to work hard for that.

And we are. We are religious in running. No matter what me missed in our attire we balance it with our .. craving for the run.

Few days ago when I’m running alone cuz son needs to stay home. I trip in one of the manhole in the promenade.

My ankle got a bit painful but I can still walk. I walked home. Still happy that I was able to run.

We run again after that. But in the next run its so painful and I can only do strides.. or limping.

I notice too that my ankle is a bit swollen.

I am still in pain and I cant go to my part time work ( i make pizza) .. but mostly its.. I CAN NO LONGER RUN.

it made me sad… the only things.. exercise that I can do free and.. not be judged .. and i cant do it anymore….

before i started running… I am really really sad for a lot of things … death of a dear dog, lack of money, missing home, wanting to have a diff job…

and running saved me from being sadder.

now that my running got cut short… i ,, im saddest…

I dont have any means to clear my head… and I am in pain.. and the weather is getting colder and the days gloomier…

I cry when I bathe and my life is so.. I dont have direction.. few days ago I have a goal (running the promenade mini-marathon) now I dont.

There are so many things that I am dreaming of doing… studying Interior Design at this internet school, going home, getting braces… but they all cost a lot.. running that mini marathon cost next to nothing and.. and i lost my chance to do it…

To most of your readers (If I even have some) its nothing… but to me a girl whos got nothing.. its everything..

and I lost my chance to do it…

My life is so mess up.. I cant sort it… I am so sad and I have to admit that sometimes I was thinking if im dead.. everything will be ok… my fam will have money andI will no longer bug people..

Its only my son who is keeping me from doing it cuz I dont want him to grow alone…lonely..

But I cant help thinking of it.. when you are sad you wont..

I dont know who to run too.. Hubby is .. I think hes so frustrated of me being always sad… hes prolly fed up of me now..

He doesnt read this Blog…

If you are reading this.. please help me.